tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21569613186057455772024-02-20T01:56:10.262-08:00After School SpecialThe disgruntled ramblings of a public school teacher.ruiamsoruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15346127582577835529noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2156961318605745577.post-86800841255128152152011-06-07T03:29:00.001-07:002011-06-07T03:29:56.198-07:00Mullet or Mohawk<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>ZH-CN</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><u><br />
</u></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">An Essay on Professional Dress Code</i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Professionalism is a fickle definition to make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we generally speak about professional dress, we are actually speaking of good taste.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, good taste is something that is not a commonality with all people.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When we receive a dress code that simply calls for ‘Professional Dress,’ it becomes difficult to define exactly what this is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To begin with, dress would indicate clothing only, when in actuality it refers to your entire appearance, even your hairstyle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">While many people think that a mullet is in poor taste, it is not outside the bounds of normal dress code and therefore would be acceptable because mullets have become commonplace within certain regions of society.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mohawks do not share such a positive place as they are ridiculed for being too outrageous and representative of ideals that are not professional, or even punk-like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do punks have such a negative connotation attached to them?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>America has always prided itself on its freedom, outside of freedom of dress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To become a successful, upstanding individual in business society, slick haircuts, polished shoes, and stylish suits or dresses are necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does what one wears accurately reflect the good or ill they could serve to society?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember when I saw the Enron employees on trial that they wore fancy, expensive business suits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is proof that just because you dress in a socially acceptable manner, that you are not necessarily doing positive things for society itself.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As young people we are told the lie that what is on the inside counts when it is really the outside appearance that you are able to fool people with that really counts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s an embarrassment that a person with a blue Mohawk and pierced nose gets turned down for a job despite having all the qualifications necessary for a position.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In youth, we’re told to look past the appearance of people, whether they are fat, ugly, or have a huge mole on their face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When will come the day that this can apply to how people dress as well?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In many cases, dress is a good thing because it allows people to look on the outside, the same way they are on the inside, fake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>ruiamsoruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15346127582577835529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2156961318605745577.post-41422205796387585812011-05-30T08:56:00.000-07:002011-05-30T08:56:10.141-07:00The Late Work Policy<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic;">An Essay from a Student's Point of View</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As a seventh grade student in the United States, I’ve learned <span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">that America holds these <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Truth" title="Truth"><span style="color: black;">truths</span></a> to be <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-evident" title="Self-evident"><span style="color: black;">self-evident</span></a>, that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_men_are_created_equal" title="All men are created equal"><span style="color: black;">all men are created equal</span></a>, that they are endowed by their <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creator_God" title="Creator God"><span style="color: black;">Creator</span></a> with certain inalienable Rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never bothered to look up what inalienable means, but I have a few ideas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think this idea has to do with turning in late work to my teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It means if I’m not ‘in’ school and I have an ‘ail-ment’ or if I’m ‘ill’ that I will be ‘able’ to turn ‘in’ the work when I return.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Luckily for me, I don’t have to be actually ill to reap the benefits of this, I just have to miss school and have my mom call me in sick or write a note.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank goodness because the assignment I had due for History class was due this past Friday and I hadn’t even started it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew about it for three months, but I didn’t see any reason to start it until the week before it’s due.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, this project was HUGE!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t have nearly enough time to complete it in the time I left myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have to miss Friday, the day it was due, to be able to get it in on time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That was last week, and I still hadn’t finished it on Monday, so I was ‘ill’ that day as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s what the note said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I came back, the stupid teacher wouldn’t accept my assignment on Tuesday when it was really due!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mom had been at work and thought I was really sick, so she was livid!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thank goodness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She called the principal of my school and complained to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She stated that she understood that a teacher couldn’t do this if her son was sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s what the note said.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The principal folded.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t want to have to fight against my mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She could get pretty loud and mean when she has to and she told him that she knows people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn’t want to deal with that I’m sure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He made my stupid teacher let me turn it in late on time for full credit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That showed him!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like he can make me do work and turn it in when he wants!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The world doesn’t work that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hadn’t he ever heard that I had inalienable rights?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Duh.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The teacher was pretty mad about the whole situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told my mom that when I got my project back with a C on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told her I think he graded me differently than the other students because he considered mine late.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That just wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t going to fly with my mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Another call and some yelling to the principal and my mom convinced him to let another teacher grade it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guess what!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When they graded it, I got a B.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My teacher was trying to hold a grudge against me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would have failed his class if I didn’t turn in my project. He just wanted me to fail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He thinks just because I sleep in his class and do next to no work, that I should fail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I should really show him that thing that says I have those inalienable rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wished I remember what thing said that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He should have taught me about that in class instead of wasting my time making me do that project on the Declaration of Independence.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who reads that garbage anyway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That teacher was a jerk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was sick after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s what the note said.</span><span style="color: black;"></span></div>ruiamsoruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15346127582577835529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2156961318605745577.post-44225148289650193372011-05-25T03:35:00.001-07:002011-05-25T03:35:18.715-07:00Ban That Book!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>ZH-CN</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was surfing the Weird Wide Web, and found a site that has the history of banned books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never realized how many books have been banned before!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I still don’t think it’s enough though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to get to work to ban more books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A lot of people miss books that they may consider okay, but if they really examined them, they would agree that these books need to be banned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I find whenever you are trying to do something unpopular that as long as you say you’re doing it for the children, you are in the clear.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Here are some of the other books that we need to ban, for the children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to begin with shorter stories and the first I’d like to address is ‘The Little Engine That Could.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sexual references in this book are over the top.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The graphic imagery of the train again and again trying to reach the climax or the top of the hill is downright pornographic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beyond that, the integrity of our students and children come into question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can our kids be equally compared with this ‘Little Engine?’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do we really expect them to try and try again, even against what may be insurmountable odds?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if what our kids are facing is an impossible task?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if they’re trying to turn lead to gold?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Shouldn’t they just eventually give up?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This book sends the wrong message and should be banned, for the children.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Books that were written over a year ago should all be banned as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These books are not culturally relevant anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They’re about olden times, and no one cares.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hollywood has it right on always staying new, keeping with the ‘Tomorrow is yesterdays news’ credo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Books need to do this as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stay on the cutting edge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even if the book is about the future, it’s about yesterday’s future which is different than today’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our children deserve better than left over thoughts from last year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>New books should also be banned because we haven’t had enough time to decide whether or not the content of the book is appropriate for our children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily, we could create a panel of readers to spend some time poring over the book to decide whether or not it is in fact appropriate for our children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They could spend a year deliberating, at which time the book would be banned as it is over a year old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would effectively remove most of the reading material from our shelves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the way, I’d love to be paid to be on this panel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How can we really be sure that a book won’t have a negative impact on someone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say we can’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can no longer allow parents to make decisions on what their children should be allowed to read.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if something they think is okay for their kids to read isn’t really okay?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What if they missed the character that was representational of Jesus and that character was evil?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can’t trust parents to pick out all of these symbolic images that most books have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can’t even trust most parents to read the books their kids are reading before their kids do to decide it’s appropriate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when a book is banned, we can’t trust a parent to read that book and make a good decision on whether that book should be banned for their kid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of this is too political, and we can’t trust anyone by themselves making a political decision.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ban books, do it for the children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>ruiamsoruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15346127582577835529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2156961318605745577.post-49047018015547589812011-05-24T14:23:00.001-07:002011-05-24T14:23:10.499-07:00Dumbin' it Down<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>ZH-CN</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> 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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><u><span style="color: #0f243e;">Dumbin’ It Down</span></u></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Children are our future and boy will they be able to play video games and get fat better than any generation previously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So much so, that their life expectancies are the first ever to be shorter than the previous generations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Good job! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now how do we fix that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say we ‘Dumb it Down,’ and change the standards so we don’t seem quite so stupid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’ll begin with test scores.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was in school, which really wasn’t THAT long ago, we were required to get a 94% to make an A.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ve already taken steps to make class easier by letting students get a 90% to get an A but I think we need to take that a step further.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We should be more like sports when it comes to this statistic so students can relate more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since most students want to be pro athletes, we should base their percentages more like the sports they hope to play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For football for instance, a quarterback is successful if he can complete about 60% of his passes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would be an A rated quarterback.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So why can’t 60% of a course be an A rated student?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can be though!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In Florida, just ask our FCAT.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In case you didn’t know, FCAT is our standardized test that students take to see if they possess basic skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If students score above 50% on FCAT, they are put in advanced classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may think that’s silly, but technically half of the people in the world are above average.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So for grading, I say it’s time for a change of policy!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A 4<sup>th</sup> grade reading level should be all that is required of students to pass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of our newspapers are written on a 4<sup>th</sup> grade level and most of our television shows are written on one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What need have students to actually read at a higher level than?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>NONE!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are we even teaching kids to read to begin with?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aren’t most books made into movies these days anyway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they’re any good they are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if there isn’t a movie made on the book, then you can probably find a book on CD... so what is the use of reading?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Math seems kind of worthless as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, we have calculators don’t we?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Geography?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t even get me started!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever heard of a map or better yet GPS?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can get where I want to go if I need to go there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Physical Education isn’t really even necessary in the armed services anymore since we have remote control everything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess if you want to have sort of specialized degree to work for Microsoft or something, then maybe science would be sort of helpful, but why waste our time learning that in school when most people will never really need to know how to make inventions, but instead just use them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So what are classes that are worth something for our students?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve come up with a curriculum of classes that is fair, reasonable, and worthwhile. Something everybody can relate to, and use in their everyday lives.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>To start with, we have to revise how we attend school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An 8 hour day is asking a little much from a student, unless we have better break times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Judging by most television shows, American’s possess an attention span of about 15 minutes, so that is how long each class will be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Socialization skills are focused on far more at school than anything else, so we can also give the students 15 minutes each period to change classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That way they can catch up on who recently got pregnant and can drop out of school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Did I mention if you become pregnant as a student, you can drop out since you probably have enough intelligence to raise another child on your own).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lunch time will need to be expanded to an hour as well so students have enough time to digest their foods, and since they are American, it is likely they are overweight or will be overweight so they will need more time to eat to attain this goal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So in total, we will need fourteen classes to fill up our day with, and here are some useful classes that could be used in this curriculum:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Some classes will be labeled as academic core classes, which students will have to pass in order to move on to the next grade, and others will be electives which you don’t really have to attend or pass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it’s kind of irrational for an authority figure to tell you what you have to learn anyway, so as long as you can orally submit an excuse as to why you failed an academic core class, you will be excused from failure in that class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We begin each day with Electronic Operations, an elective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the class that will teach you how to use a microwave, how to program your TIVO, how to add songs to your I-Pod, how to create a new contact in your cell phone, and other useful electronic related operations.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a class everyone should easily be able to achieve a 60% A in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The next class we’d be off to is Hobby Time, which is also an elective since we don’t want to begin the day for our students with high pressured classes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When kids are asked their hobbies today, I think it is a shame that so few of them can name any hobbies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need a class to help students refocus on wasting their time in interesting and non-educational ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If any work is actually turned in to this class, you would have to be placed on academic probation and possibly fail.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class would be an exploratory curriculum designed to let students discover new ways to occupy their constant ADD induced boredoms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Luckily, under this new curriculum, everyone will be labeled as ADD, ADHD, or Gifted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If their ADD or ADHD is off the charts, it’s obvious they are bored with the work because they already know it all and need a challenge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No challenge will be given to these students, but we will feel a lot better that they’ve at least been properly labeled even if they are dunces. These are the students we will label as Gifted. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After all of this exhausting course work, a nap time would be necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The third class will be designated sleep time for students and teachers, and this will be an academic core class because everybody has to sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point students will have attended two classes and a total of one hour will have passed in class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Students will need a quick breather after this rigorous curriculum that they have thus far been subjected to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Students will be allowed to talk during this nap time if they wish to, but they have to pull their cots near the students they want to chat with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class will be an automatic A, even if you have not come to school because we can assume you have slept at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A fourth class that could be really interesting we could call, ‘Population Control,’ or ‘Reckless Regard for Authority Figures and Rules.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class will be taught as an elective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of all the subjects taught, I believe this one to be the most likely for students to get their 60% A in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Students will be taught nothing in this class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will watch non-educational films, eat popcorn, be loud, and try to break as many rules as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class has a two-fold advantage since later in life it will have equipped most of our students with the ability to easily end their lives or others by their disregard for anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We certainly won’t leave any children behind with programs like these!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only ones left behind are the dead ones that couldn’t think fast enough to not be dead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A fifth class, which some would consider unnecessary (as we’ve eliminated a lot of the class in the fourth class) would have to be, “Your Diet and Decay.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class would focus on how to eat fast food each day, and the benefits of the extra value menus at each fast food establishment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class and the fourth one are actually a part of the same curriculum.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would also use this class for our lunch period, as long as students brought items with little to no nutritional value.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This of course would be in addition to our real lunch time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to give our students every opportunity to become overweight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>For our sixth class, we would have another core curriculum class on sexual harassment entitled, ‘You Can’t Touch This.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class would thoroughly cover all the basics of what is and what isn’t sexual harassment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In order to pass this class, you would have to be able to go at least a 24 hour period without sexually harassing anyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I anticipate several failures, but with good excuses these students should be able to pass this class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of the most popular excuses could be, “She was asking for it by what she was wearing.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Electronic operations class would not be able to fully delve into all the realms of electronics so another class may be necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class would be predicated on creating and maintaining a Myspace page or a Facebook page.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would learn how to upload dirty pictures or send inappropriate comments to other students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Granted, this seventh class may be the reason some students do not pass the sexual harassment class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then again, this would be a good excuse to give for the student to be allowed to pass.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At this point in the day, we would allow students their one hour lunch break.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some students may wish to go off campus to eat, and this would be allowed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They wouldn’t even be required to return to school that day if they chose to eat off campus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That would be left up to them to decide if they could be better educated to stay off campus and learn or return and goof off and learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mark Twain always said to “Never let school interfere with your education.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With stipulaions and programs like these, we can be nearly assured school will have very little to do with education indeed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After our extended lunch program, those students that wished to return would enter their eighth class entitled ‘Paper Product Construction,’ where we would show students how to fold notes in interesting ways, create poppers, wasps, and also construct paper airplanes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This would be a core class seeing as we would have contests that determine which students have created the most durable and efficient paper products.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since the word contest contains the word test, we would have to judge this class a little more stringently than others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If the academic pressure of this class is too much, we will allow these students to return to any of the previous classes and count that extra time in that class for full credit for this class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A ninth class, which could possibly be the most useful class ever, will be called ‘The American Work Ethic,’ or, ‘The Craft of an Excuse.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this class, we will teach them the most necessary tool in being successful in America, how to make an excuse for something you did, or did not do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are too many times when we expect someone, specifically students, to actually finish their work when it is obvious that they have other things to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, even if they have enough time to finish the work you’ve assigned, they probably would just find something else to do that is more useful, such as sleeping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Students will need to be well equipped to deal with high strung teachers and people that are always going to want them to complete work, be on time, and do their best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These people will need to be able to contrive excuses to appease these silly Type A personality people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they want something done so badly, why didn’t they just do it themselves? </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The day is winding down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just five more classes to go, and class number ten is going to really help a lot of students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Fashion Follies, the Fashon Police Class.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In this class we will be primarily teaching students how to judge others based solely on what they wear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is the Chuch of Dolce and Gabbana.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will worship the all mighty pricetag in this class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God forbid a child come to class not wearing a Logo T-shirt that cost them at least 25 bucks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That student will be ridiculed and be made to stand in front of the class as we throw red paint on them, much like we do to those who wear fur.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Bad fasion is murder, too.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t murder what others think about you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class will be an easy transition to our next class.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Your Mom, Your Face, and Your Dumb.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A class on insult etiquette.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How do you come back from one of those Your Mother is so… whatever jokes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will have put down battles and will watch stand up comedy to atain new materials we can work with to really make others feel poorly about themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Class number eleven will be a riotous hit and will make class twelve almost necessary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both of these classes will be core classes, as everyone needs to be equipped to judge others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>When we judge others, we still need to be able to cope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“How to Cope with A-Holes” will be our class on personal guidance counseling. Since guidance counselors are some of the most worthless people ever, we will he gotten rid of them and now we’ll be foced to console ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Luckily, most of our students are A-holes and do not have to cope with themselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will be excused from this class, and be allowed to wander the hallways, get water, go to the bathroom, and get the scoop on any other new pregnancies that may have occurred since lunch.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Finally we’ve made it to lucky class number thirteen and we need something apropriate for such a number.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This class will be “Superstitions, Witches, and Vampires.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There has been a big push for fantasy books lately, just look at Harry Potter or Twilight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Students need to be informed about these superstitions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At a minimum, this class will just have us telling scary stories, but if students want extra credit, they can go to see one of the movies they made out of these books and then discuss them at length in class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If students actually read the book, they would have to disciplined, and sent off to a special school where they actually learn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gross.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The end of the day will be our last core class of the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“How to Escape Another Day Unscathed.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first month of this class will focus on teaching students the meaning of the word unscathed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once we get passed that, we wil be teaching students how to leave school, whether it be by car or bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If parents arrive early to pick up students, they will be permitted to take them and the students will get an A+ for this class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mostly because they get out of our hair early and we don’t have to deal with them anymore.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This curriculum is fair and non-biased unless it was intended not to be, in which case, it has achieved it’s goal either way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With this program, we could not possibly leave children behind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, we will enact a new policy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“All Children Pushed Forward.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I used to think the reason you didn’t tell slow children they could be anything they wanted when they grew up was President Bush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now I know that if we follow the rigors of what he probaby faced as a student, children of all absurd stupidities can achieve anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stive to be the best failure you can be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>O Captain, my captain.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #0f243e;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></span></div>ruiamsoruhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15346127582577835529noreply@blogger.com0